…must come to an end. I’ve deleted all the other posts save three - the first post I ever wrote, which I feel I must preserve for posterity, and the only two posts I ever wrote that really amounted to anything.
It’s not that I have nothing to say, it’s merely that I have neither the time nor the energy to turn this blog into something worthwhile.
At least not right now.
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There was a post on Fark today involving scantily clad pictures of Gisele Bundchen. I’ve never been a big fan of her, for several reasons:
1) She looks like a 12 year old boy
2) Catch her from the right angle, she’s got a horseface
3) She’s dating Leonardo DiCrapio
But really, I think farker Quantum Apostrophe said it best:
“No hips. If I put on a bikini, I’d look the same. Why would I want a woman that looks like me? Straight lines are only good in geometry class.”
Seriously, what’s with men who like women without curves? I’ve had friends in the past who were into women like this, and frankly in some of them I’ve suspected latent homosexuality. Now I’m not saying I get down for chubby girls, but how about something besides your breast implants to remind me that you’re a woman?
Clark always said that waist:hip ratio was a solid measure for defining attractiveness in a woman, and I have to agree. The wikipedia entry on the matter specifies an optimal waist:hip ratio of about 0.7. This isn’t too far off from my own supposed ideal of 0.67, derived from the Playboy standard of 36-24-36.
Gisele, by my extremely scientific methods, clocks in at a boyish 0.8 (let’s approximate the body circumference as an ellipse where the long axis is twice the length of the short axis, with the circumference approximated by this method). Monica Belluci on the other hand comes in at a sexy 0.64. Now we’re talking!
(Note: If you do a Google search for “gisele bundchen measurements” you come up with numbers like 34-24-34, implying a ratio of 0.71 - I call bullshit!)
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So I get a phone call last night from somebody named “Michael”, with Domain Registry Support. He wants to confirm my contact information for one of my domain names, which is plenty suspicious enough to get my Spidey-Sense tingling. I try to get him to justify why I need to give him any information, but here’s a guy with the worst telemarketing script ever, he just keeps repeating that he needs to confirm my contact information. I decided to ask why, and he says they have very important information they are going to send me. Well I ask him why can’t he just tell me over the phone, and he assures me it’s an entire 1 page fax of information! OMG! So much information, the phone line would melt down if he tried to tell me over the phone. What kind of information I ask? Changes to the internet! OMG! The internet is changing! I assure him that I read Google News all the time, and I’m sure they will do a very good job reporting on any changes to the internet. It was about this time that J got home from work, I whisper it’s a scam, and she asks me why I’m still on the phone. Good question, kind of like talking to Mormons at the door, what’s the point? In any case, “Michael” soon hung up, after about 5 minutes on the line. I’ve never met a guy with an Indian accent that thick before named Michael, and I bet I never will - did he choose the same name as mine to sound non-threatening?
Anyways, avoid these guys like the plague, and if you want to have some fun give them a call: 866-383-0986 was the number that came up on my cell, and they have a toll-free number on their website which I won’t link to for fear of generating them any business.
God bless the Internets!
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Somebody once referred to me as Absolutely Delightful, so it seemed as good a name as any for my new blog. Not to mention it’s one of those domain names that is extremely unlikely to already be taken (it wasn’t). Now whether or not I think it’s a worthwhile thing to have my own blog remains to be seen, but everybody else seems to be doing it. Of course the if everybody else jumped off a bridge, would you? conundrum applies, but what the hell.
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