Absolutely Delightful » Gross Pregnancy Things

And Now for Something Fairly Embarrassing.

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:31:00 +0000

This post is not illustrated for reasons that will soon become clear.

At some point after Muffin was born in 2007, a dime-sized nipple-colored spot on my breast just to the right of my areola appeared. No, I haven’t grown a third nipple. It actually doesn’t look bad cosmetically but I was worried that it might be something nefarious, so I made an appointment with the dermatologist to have it looked at. That was about 18 months ago. The dermatologist didn’t know what it was but said he wanted to watch it and asked me to come back in 3 months. Yeah, sure, you just want another look at my boobies a la “they’re real and they’re spectacular”. Ha! Kidding, of course. As some of you know post-lactation boobies deflate and need some time to fluff back up and I was in the “pre-fluff” stage. Anyways, I went back 3 months later and he still couldn’t tell me what it was but since it hadn’t grown or changed and it didn’t look like skin cancer to him he said to not worry about it but to come back if it did end up changing at all. That was 15 months ago. I wasn’t really satisfied and felt he was more of a cosmetic dermatologist with all his fancy lasers for all the Carmel Valley and Del Mar Yummy Mummy’s around here. Also, in the weeks since Madam Poopsalot was born I noticed a definite color and texture change. So, I got myself in to see a different dermatologist (we’ll call him Dr. S) about a month ago and unfortunately he wants to biopsy. He says it’s likely not skin cancer but he can’t be sure. Also it’s grown since the last dermatologist took a look at it…though much to my delight, so have my ta-tas as they are in nursing mode. He agreed to let me wait a couple of months before preforming the biopsy since I won’t be allowed to breast feed on that side for 10 days after the procedure. I am still debating whether or not to have it done since I am worried about it permanently interfering with breastfeeding and Madam Poopsalot is only 3 months old. I’ll let you know the outcome. Anyways, to the embarrassing part. The dermatologist says he would like to take a photo for his files and so he brings out his camera and holds it about 6 inches from my boob. All of a sudden I feel that familiar sensation and know I’m about to let-down. It’s nursing time for Madam Poopsalot and apparently my mammary glands can tell time (it’s the only thing punctual about me since becoming a mom of two). So, as I’m about to let out a warning cry, the floodgates open and out shoots an impressive spray and gets poor Dr. S’s camera. Oh yeah, it’s true. I wanted to crawl under a rock.

Impatient Baby Girl

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:49:50 +0000

Well, baby has arrived (4.5 weeks early)! I was being monitored for premature labour and had been on restricted activity most of the pregnancy due to a “short” cervix but I had PROM (premature rupture of membranes) on Friday, Nov 6 around 3am in the morning. I thought perhaps I had just peed a little bit b/c it wasn’t very much and I was half asleep. I changed my PJ’s and went back to bed. Just before 8am, my son woke up so I went upstairs to get him and lifted him out of his crib and then sat down on the rocking chair and SQUISH – more water. This time it was just too much to think it was pee and I didn’t even feel like I needed to pee. Still, I was in denial. More on the whole story later, but the good news is that our daughter was born late that evening and was healthy and didn’t have to spend any time in the NICU. She is tiny though: 4lbs 12.5oz and 18.5 inches long. We are so fortunate. We are having some preemie issues with feeding, which I’m trying to work out but all in all it’s very good. Let’s hope it continues to be good and that it just gets better – we need to fatten her up!

So now I’m even more glad that we were able to get our H1N1 vaccines since she was born just shy of 2 weeks after I got the vaccine, which means that she should have gotten some immunity from it.

Got to run and wake her up to feed her…again!

My Belly Button Has An Erection.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:39:28 +0000

Well, it’s official. At 31 weeks pregnant, my belly button now has an erection. Two erections, actually. Although my belly button has not quite popped, it is now flush and the two “offending” parts in question are in fact skin tags left over from my first pregnancy. Yuck. They were virtually hidden for the two years after giving birth to my son but now there is no hiding them. During those two years my husband threatened to take tweezers to them while I slept. Now they poke out in all their erectile glory and taunt him, “Look at us! We’re STILL here!”

Am I the only one with these disgusting brown skin tags inside my belly button? I posed the question to Google and Google did not disappoint. Nope – very common. Another weird crazy symptom of pregnancy!

I’ll deal with them when the pregnancy is completed…but don’t tell them that.