Often it can be a short trip from Mom to Martyr. I truly believe that in order for me to be a good mom, wife and friend, I need to take care of myself. I liken it to the concept of putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping your kids with theirs in the event of an aircraft depressurization. If you don’t get your oxygen mask on first, you can’t help them with theirs. So, what is the oxygen mask of mommy’s daily life?
1) Take care of your body.
2) Take care of your mind.
3) Give yourself permission to say no.
4) Appreciate yourself.
5) Don’t take your children too seriously.
I struggle with #5. When Muffin has a two year old tantrum or acts out with his friends, I take it personally. I feel whenever he has bad behavior, it’s always my fault because I haven’t done a good enough job or something. I need to not internalize it like that. He’s two! He’s going to act out and he’s not going to be perfectly behaved all the time.
Good wives and mothers have their own needs and interests and seek their own fulfillment. Of course, there isn’t always time to satisfy your own needs or interests! Sometimes you have to beg, borrow and steal that time. Since Madam Poopsalot was born, I have had an internal battle with myself three mornings a week to drag my tired carcass out of bed and hit spin class. The baby has woken me up several times during the night and I just want to sleep! But I also want my body back! And the gym makes my mind feel good once the workout is over. I come home to my kids and I’m a better mommy to them because I’ve been good to myself.
