Absolutely Delightful

At the tender age of 6 weeks (1.5 weeks adjusted age) Madam Poopsalot is going through diapers like crazy. In fact, she often runs through 3 diapers in one changing. Invariably the scenario goes like this:

1. Poops.
2. Gets wiped up and a clean diaper is part-way on (or, more tragically, still en route to her buttocks and she’s fully exposed and the whole changing pad and/or wall and/or mommy gets it).
3. Diaper #2 gets tossed and baby gets cleaned again.
4. Diaper #3 is on it’s way on and now the fountain of pee comes shooting across and Diaper #3 (and anything else in the path of destruction) meets it’s match. Yes, girls can get some serious distance too. Who knew!?!
5. Baby gets cleaned and diaper #4 is successful. Mommy needs a glass of wine.

Madam Poopsalot is a champion pooper but not in the area of poop consolidation, I’m afraid. My son was the same way when he was an infant. It’s like all babies are born knowing the same rules of pooping:

Baby Poop Rule #1: Thou shalt poop in the first diaper just enough to necessitate a diaper change, but reserve enough to dirty the second (or third) diaper immediately thereafter. Both my children seem to like a fresh canvas to do their work.

Baby Poop Rule #2: Thou shalt hold your poop until Mom has got you dressed and strapped into your car seat and is about to go somewhere important, for which she is already running 10 mins late.

Baby Poop Rule #3: Thou shalt poop mid-diaper change, preferably when your bottom is being lifted to put a diaper under it so as to maximize the possibility of the messiest trajectory of poop at the farthest distance possible. Poor Raising Daddy knows what I mean about this one…

Baby Poop Rule #4: Thou shalt have a Blowout Poop at the most inopportune time in the most inopportune place (ie. airplane when mommy doesn’t have a change of clothes for you or for herself and she is stuck in the middle seat between two strangers who don’t have children and now never will, if they can help it!!!).